Google Saviour (or not)

In this post I shall attempt to answer some of the google suggestions of questions:
 So, basically I've typed the beginning of a question into a google and shall discuss the answer to said question.
 Idea stolen from John Green- I won't be as funny as him..

 ..Well that was the plan, just as I loaded up google, my internet died and instant suggestions didn't load.

Here's some ones I did earlier
 'Why is my'
Why is my girlfriend so weird -because she's dating you. I think I should be a tad concerned thats the thing most people google, although saying that, I wouldn't be surprised if my other halfwas one of them.

'Why does my'
 Why does my face hurt
- Well Google is not going to help you- try stopping walking into walls

'I want j'
I want job
-Honestly, this is one of my favourites, because without initially judging you Googlers, the fact you can't write that grammactically correct, I'm questioning your qualifications for a job..

'what if ha'
(it made me happy that all of the suggestions were about Harry Potter)
What if Harry Potter was a girl
-Gender Equality! honestly, Googlers, be nice. It would have been exactly the same, except for Ginny's coming out... (and more sexual tension between Malfoy and Harry)

'where does'
 Where does snot come from
-I may have a limited Biological knowledge, however, I can with some confidence say: the nose. Seriously, I'm not totally sure, I know theres mucus glands near the throat, maybe around there?

'why g'
Why gay marriage is wrong
 - not a question I know, however the statement is almost definitly false in the eyes of the majority. Straight guys love their downstairs, but when other gets involved, they not happy no more.

'Why is h'
Why is horse meat bad - The meat isn't the problem, the problem is they didn't tell us. However I do believe it's against some religions to eat horse, so understandably, they're not particularly happy..

I hope I helped the world in some way... and you all found this marginally funny :)