Thursday 22 November 2012

Shyness

fact #1084 about Alex
 I was too shy too answer the school register until year 3

As someone who was just so incredibly shy until recently, I feel I am in some position to share my experiences and maybe inspire someone else to come out of their shell (even if their shell has a PS3).

The fact above, technically that's not true, I know I didn't answer the register for the majority for my lower school life, however, year 3 is the only time I physically remember not doing it, therefore I am to assume it got less frequent in that year. I've kind of brushed past the fact of this, but just think: You're so shy you can't even respond 'Yes, Miss' in reference to your own name. I would literally just sit there, or put my hand up, or a friend would answer for me. Yet; at home, I'd never shut up. Similarly, with my friends, I was known as the loud one with people I was comfortable with, but put me with acquaintances and I become a mute.

This continued until I was 16. On every single parents evening up to year 12, every teacher would say:
'She is a bright pupil, but she could speak up in class more'

12 years, three parents evenings a year, around 8 subject teachers
I have head that phrase easily over 300 times, yet wouldn't speak in a class; I wasn't scared, I could talk to the teacher, I could talk to the class, but just casually raising a hand and offering an answer or opinion on the subject matter of the lesson- nope.

Luckily, around middle school it begun to decline, in 2007 I was put in a group of strangers for a scout camp and made to work out jobs and performances. I excelled in this, knowing the strangers had never met me before, and had no judgements of me, made it easier to become myself. From that, it got better I could speak to strangers, but still not in class.

I sit here now, in my last year of school, and can happily say, as classes shrink, there's less people to speak in front of, and you care less what they think any way. I didn't even notice it happen, I just suddenly realised I was the loud one in the class...Happy Endings all round?

I think one thing stopping me from speaking for all those years, is I felt if I spoke an opinion, that I'd be forcing an opinion on someone else, so I just stayed quiet and said the answer in my head. And right now, the same fear is creeping in again as I try to convince you shyness won't rule you.

so as I click that little orange 'publish' button, I'm doing something scary; why don't you? Then we can all cower in fear together...

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